Feast of the Nativity of
the Blessed Virgin Mary
September 8,
2016. Thursday
Readings:
Micah
5:1-4 or Romans 8:28-30; Matthew 1:18-23.
Responsorial (Psalm 13): “With delight I
rejoice in the Lord.”
A true story.
There was a young couple, deeply in love, engaged to be married.
But before the wedding date the bride-to-be learned of a job offering that had
just become available.
As soon as she heard of it, she knew it was the perfect job for
her. She felt that everything she was made her the perfect person to do it;
that everything in her life had prepared her for it. And it was a job in which
she could do great good for the world.
There were two conditions attached: first, you had to be married.
No problem, she would be married before it was time to start. Second, you could
not have children if you took the job; the work precluded them. That was a huge
problem. In Catholic theology, a marriage is not valid if one or both of the
parties does not accept to have children, ever.
She prayed deeply over the offer. Finally she went to her fiancé
and told him about it.
“I think I need to apply,” she said. “I just feel in my heart that
God made me for this work and is calling me to it. I have to apply.
“When I do I will tell them I am engaged. But since we can’t get
married without being open to children, if they accept me I will tell them that
I had to call off the engagement. I can see that having children is ruled out
by the nature of the work. But I will ask them to make an exception about the
marriage requirement and let me take the job as a single woman.”
She knew what this meant — both for her and for her fiancé. It
would crush him. It was already crushing her. But she felt she had to do it.
“It won’t work,” her fiancé said. “They will never accept you.”
“I think you are right,” she answered. “But I have to try.”
He agreed. He didn’t have much choice. When he left her he went
off by himself to pray. As he did, he realized he was praying that they would
reject her; that they would not make an exception about the marriage clause.
Then she would be his.
As he prayed, it dawned on him that he was being selfish. He knew
she was perfect for the job. He knew that she could and would do more good for
people through it than anyone could possibly imagine. But he wanted her for
himself. Even if it meant she would never do the work they both felt sure she
was called to do.
He felt he should pray that they would accept her after all.
“But it’s crazy,” he thought. “No single woman could possibly survive
in the situations she will be in. There is no way they can make an exception.”
Then the thought struck him: “What if I marry her, but agree that
we will never have sexual relations!” Illogical or not, the Church recognizes
that as a valid marriage. There are even precedents for it in Church history:
the so-called “white marriages” in which for spiritual reasons, ill-advised
though they may have been, a married couple committed themselves to life-long
sexual abstinence.
He made up his mind. And although it broke his heart, he was a
peace with it. He went back to his fiancée and said, “Let’s get married. We
will be husband and wife, but we will live together as brother and sister. No
one will ever know it. And you will get the job.”
She said, “Do you think we can do this? You love me, and I love
you. We are going to be traveling together, sometimes sleeping in the same bed.
Do you think this is possible? For either of us?”
“No,” he said. “It is not humanly possible. But if this job is
what God is calling you to, and this is the only way we can do it, he will make
it possible. To say we can’t do it would be a cop-out. The only question is,
are we willing to do it?”
They got married. They lived together for years, until he died.
And they never had sex together. That is the Gospel truth.
It is today’s Gospel.
Insight
Do I understand the story? Why Mary had to be married? Why she and
Joseph could never have children together? (Joseph was calling off the
marriage, not because he suspected Mary — she told him the truth — but out of
awe and respect for God. If God had chosen his bride to be the Mother of God’s
own Son, there was nothing any devout Jew could do but withdraw. God told him
not to fear. God wanted Joseph to be Mary’s husband; just not the father of her
unique child. Jesus, as “only Son of the Father,” also had to be the “only Son”
of Mary).
Initiative
Be
like Joseph, the “faithful and prudent manager whom the Lord has put in charge
of his household” (see
Luke 12:42, applied to Joseph in the Entrance Antiphon for March 19, feast of
Joseph, Husband of Mary). Be a faithful steward: Don’t let any fear
hold you back from doing anything God wants you to do.
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